Professional Psychotherapy and Coaching

Starting this Thursday, February 4, 2010, I will be teaching a marriage seminar called Writing Your Love Story: Marriage in Ten Acts at the Christ Lutheran Church of Charlotte, NC. The seminar will last for ten weeks and start each Thursday at 6:30pm. Below is a description of the seminar. Oh, and I almost forgot the best part: It’s Free!  I hope to see you there. Take care.

Writing Your Love Story: Marriage in Ten Acts

You’ve heard the clichés’: Marriage takes two. Marriage takes work. Marriage is a work in progress. So what does it take to write a good love story? What are the ingredients of a healthy, thriving marriage relationship? Join David Wever, Licensed Professional Counselor and National Speaker for the Every Man’s Battle Workshops, as he discusses writing and living the love story God has for you. Over the ten-week seminar David will cover key ingredients for your love story such as: Dialogue (communication), Conflict (managing one’s emotions in marriage), and Romance (intimacy and sex).  Start off 2010 with a new chapter in the continuing journey of the love story God has given you.

I will be sharing my story this Thursday, January 28 at Celebrate Recovery at Providence Road Church of Christ in Charlotte, NC. Click here for directions and details.

Hope to see you there!

If you’re in the Charlotte, NC area next Tuesday, January 12, 2010, I will be sharing my story with the folks at Celebrate Recovery at the Young Memorial Baptist Church in Concord, NC. It’s starts around 7:00pm. Hope to see you there!

Hope your new year has started off well. Take care.

David

Thank you for sharing your year and life with me via this site, the workshops or the journey of counseling or coaching. May you have a Very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Happy Thanksgiving!

I will be speaking at the Every Man’s Battle Workshop next week in the Washington, DC area. The workshop is scheduled for December 4-6, 2009. If you are a man or know of a man who is struggling with pornography, affairs, or other sexual struggles and is willing to begin the journey towards peace, hope and freedom, then contact me or New Life Ministries to sign up for the workshop. Hope to see you there!

I had a great trip to Dallas this past weekend for the Every Man’s Battle Workshop. Thanks to all the men who attended and went All-in with their hearts.

This morning I had the privilege of spending some time with Thomas Edward. Thomas founded a ministry for men recovering from childhood sexual abuse. Check out his website.

Join me and the Every Man’s Battle team for the Every Man’s Battle workshop in Dallas, Texas on November 6-8, 2009. To sign-up for the workshop just call 1-800-NEW-LIFE. And if you have any questions on the workshop feel free to contact me.

I was talking with a pastor of a progressive megachurch not long ago and I asked what ministries/programs the church offered in the arena of sexual addiction and healthy sexuality. His response saddened my heart but did not surprise me. He said that they teach on the dangers of sexual sin and the need for healthy sexuality once a year in the worship services. Once a year! It reminds me of my own sexual education…silence…crickets….good luck sonny!

It got me thinking: for something that is such a big piece of our created identity by God, why such little attention to it and the resulting struggle in silence about it for so many?

So I have a proposal.

I have a dream job that I would love to someday fulfill or encourage to be fulfilled in a church. The job is Pastor of Sexuality and Intimacy. Doesn’t that job title just roll off your tongue so easily. And yes I am serious. Could you imagine this pastor getting up to do announcements with his/her name and title sprawled across the gigantic screen behind him/her? I can. Can you imagine this pastor setting up a lifespan program of healthy sexual understanding conversation groups for singles, married couples, children and adolescents? I can. Can you imagine this pastor establishing support groups within the ministry of the church that provide a safe place for men, women and teens struggling with the wounds of sexual betrayal, sexual abuse and sexual addiction to come for healing and support? I can. Can you imagine this pastor setting up helpful, age appropriate curriculum and workshops to help parents begin to understand their own sexuality, talk with other adults about it, and walk their children through the same process into adulthood? I can. Can you imagine this pastor helping people come to understand how the need for intimacy has a greater essence than just the sexual connotations people often associate with the word and need? I can. Can you imagine this pastor promoting such a level of transparency in a church that it may just change the heart of an entire generation? I can.

Maybe I’m a little crazy. But this is my heart. Not that this person/pastor would do all of the work but rather would be a catalyst for such a huge need in our churches today - the need for transparency, understanding, empathy, encouragement and the freedom to talk about something so central to our souls: sexuality.

Any Takers?

Keep cutting the deck of your heart.

So, Rebecca and I have a routine prior to me going out of town to speak. We actually have may routines some of which I wont go into too much detail here. But, there is one routine that I can share that is not PG-13. Prior to going out of town Rebecca and I usually go to our local movie store and pick out a few movies that we know neither of us want to watch together. For me it’s superhero movies and cop shows. For Rebecca it’s chick flicks.

Well, tonight we decided to watch a movie with the kids and picked up a movie that I had already decided in my head was a chick flick just for Rebecca to see next time I was out of town. The movie was Confessions of a Shopaholic. It is a PG-rated romantic comedy. I had planned on zoning out, but was drawn into the story of this woman’s addiction to shopping in New York and how her addiction interferes with her dreams, debt and relationships.

For Rebecca and I finances have always been a struggle during our 21 years together. We have never been good savers and have had our lessons with credit card debt and looking for comfort through buying. So, for me this movie was more than a chick flick for Rebecca. It was a reminder of what really matters most: the heart. Near the end of the movie the lead actress denies the tempting mannequins in the windows showing her the next fashions to purchase. Watching her have a look of contentment on her face and then turn and walk away from the temptation caused a comforting stir in my own heart. As I have grown in seeing my behaviors decrease in my own addictions there is a comfort of knowing my own worth cannot be bought materially, manufactured or manipulated. Instead it must be received.

And yes, deep down inside I am a true chick flick lover. I just can’t kick this denial habit.

BTW, click here for an article and resources on compulsive shopping addiction.

Keep cutting the deck of your heart!

Some Random Thoughts on this Monday:

1) Tired physically but heart energized over our last few conferences. Rebecca and I returned late last night from working with couples restoring trust after sexual betrayal in Columbus, Ohio - very brave hearts learning to trust God and their spouse all over again! Thank you for sharing your hearts with us.

2) On Friday I was impressed, encouraged and felt a little hope when I read this: Jeff Bezos’s apology.
This was so refreshing to my heart, especially with the work Rebecca and I do. More healing in relationship comes about through a straightforward apology. Trust has a chance to be reestablished when one goes All-in in this manner. Thanks Jeff.

3) I have found new fun and connection in a revision of my Twitter life. I started using Twitter in early 2008 when it wasn’t all the rage. I did it under our ministry name @eroswounded. But this year I decided to come out of the shadows and just twitter by my name, @davidwever. I have found a new tweet resurgence in me and some new friends including: @petewilson, @rachellegardner, @michaelhyatt, @stevearterburn, @naeemfazal, @spencesmith and @natedavis. And of course @RebeccaWever! It has been fun this time around. Let me know your twitter name and I will follow you.

4) One regret this week: not keeping up on my blog writing as much as I would like to. The travel and speaking has a tendency to catch up with me. It feels good to be home this week to be with family and get a little more writing done, especially here!

Keep cutting the deck of your heart this week!